Breakin' Down...

I've always tried to be a macho man, I neva let tears fall from my face untill that day my father left me. I didn't even know what hit me. This happened a few months ago, I'm over it. Recently I heard bad news, my mum has to have an operation because the doctor found a lump in her throat. I'm trying to be that "macho man", but I'm breakin' down. I've built these walls around me to protect me from what ever the lord throws at me, but an earthquake hit me and knocked down my walls, knocked down my heart. I lay awake in bed this morning all alone in my room, and the fear creeped up on me once again pushing down on my chest and swelling my eyes. I'm so scared so I'm letting it out here like a fool while I pray this rosary. You've never helped me before God, so just this one time make an acception.